nights

it's a weird feeling, wide awake, but so empty in the thoughts that feelings seem to echo inside. serves me right for not sleeping. i guess that's the shrink speak "poverty of thought" feels like. sometimes i wish i could feel as intensely as the patients i see, enough to make them want to kill themselves. i can't imagine feeling that way for anyone, may be for somethings. funny how i still base my self view on transient things that i know, don't define anyone. yet i don't think people are all that much better, any more trustworthy or reliable. but there doesn't seem to be a choice. people need people. i think, in so many ways, that's a sad predicament of being... hmm, don't even know if this make sense...